wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
