Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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