Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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