I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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