Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
