This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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