real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How does it feel to date your dad?
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