pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
