You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
