i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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