The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
