I heard we made out
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
