you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
