I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize