Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
