your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
