So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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