Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
