Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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