That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize