I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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