dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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