yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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