As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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