you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
