My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
