I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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