I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
