So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
