I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
