She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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