You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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