I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
