The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
