is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
