i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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