We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
