Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
