No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
