I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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