Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
