it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
