you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
