wat bout pragnant strippers??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
