i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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