i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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