Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
