Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize