perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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