is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize