She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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