I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
