I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
