So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
