He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
