Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize
