he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Two words: blizzard sex
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
