You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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