My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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