Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
